Rude emails

Hello, this is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English. I'm Phil.

And I'm Becca.

Sending emails is a big part of modern work, and most people try to write emails politely. Most, but not all! Recently, BBC Radio 4 programme All in the Mind asked listeners to tell them what they find rude in emails. Here, presenter Claudia Hammond and guest Pete Olusoga discuss what listeners had to say:

Rachel in Manchester says what annoys her is people who start their emails with just your name and without a simple greeting like 'hi'. She says the unnecessary formality always has the effect of putting her immediately on the defensive.

We've got an anonymous one here, who recently received a single emoji in response to a carefully considered and worded email.

One listener doesn't like emails which start with just her name because they put her on the defensive. The phrase to put someone on the defensive means to do or say something which makes them feel threatened or unsure.

Another listener found it rude when their email was answered with a single emoji, and I think that would annoy me too. These emails are examples of people being uncivil – an adjective meaning rude or impolite. And just to note, the noun that goes with this is incivility. In this episode, we'll be hearing more about rude emails at work and, as usual, we'll be learning some useful new vocabulary, all of which

But first, I have a question for you, Phil. Last year, thousands of US government workers received an email requiring them to justify their job by listing five things they had accomplished that week… or resign. But who sent this email? Was it: a) Donald Trump, b) JD Vance, or c) Elon Musk?

Ooh, I don't know... Maybe JD Vance?

We'll find out later in the programme. Now, according to some psychologists, rudeness in emails is based on a fight-or-flight response humans feel when stressed. Here, psychologist Dr Emma Russell explains these responses for BBC Radio 4's All in the Mind.

So, a fight response is usually when we try to dominate or belittle other people. Emails that are hostile in tone and language, or even cc'ing senior personnel in on the message in order to elevate an issue and put someone in their place. Then the flight response is when people try to protect themselves by withdrawing or avoiding. They won't reply, or if they do reply, maybe they don't answer all of the points in the email. They're just trying to get it off their plate.

The fight response can make us belittle someone – make them feel inferior or unimportant. For example, a boss sends a group email in which they give someone else the credit for the work you did. The boss wants to put you in your place – an idiom meaning to show someone that they are less important than they think they are.

The flight response, meanwhile, can be seen when co-workers ignore your message or give a quick, unhelpful reply. Such colleagues want to get work off their plate – another idiom, meaning to remove tasks from your own workload and give them to someone else to deal with.

Unfortunately, when stressed and working to a deadline it's hard to make sure all your emails are polite. That's what Emma Russell said when she spoke to BBC Radio 4's All in the Mind.

Because we're operating in these environments where we are all quite frazzled, we are more at risk of engaging in incivility.

We're more likely to be uncivil when we're frazzled – an informal adjective describing feeling tired or anxious because you're doing too many things at the same time.

Luckily, there are ways to help. If you feel angry when writing an email, pause before you hit send. One day it might save your friendship or even your job! OK. Becca, I'm going to politely ask you to please reveal the answer to your question.

Of course, Phil. I asked you who sent the email requiring workers to justify their employment or resign.

I said that I thought it might have been JD Vance.

Well, we're not going to fire you, Phil, but you are wrong. The correct answer was Elon Musk. OK. Let's recap the vocabulary we've learnt, starting with the idiom put someone on the defensive, meaning to make someone feel threatened or unsure.

The adjective uncivil means impolite, and we have a similar noun that's incivility.

To belittle someone means to make them feel inferior or unimportant.

If you put someone in their place, you show them that they're not as important as they think they are.

To get something off your plate means to give someone else a task or problem instead of dealing with it yourself.

And finally, if you're frazzled, you feel tired or anxious because you're doing too much. Once again, our six minutes are up.

If you want to know more about communication at work, check out our series Office English.

It's on our website, along with a quiz and a worksheet for this episode, and that's

Bye!