Small talk

Do you ever use small talk at work?

I might talk about the weather. That's always a good topic.

And I would use small talk when I'm introduced to new people. Or just someone I know a bit.

If someone is, if you're up to something after work, if you've got any plans for the weekend or if you had a good weekend if it was Monday.

In today's episode of Office English, we're talking about small talk, when to use it, and what to talk about.

Hello! Welcome to a new series of Office English, your podcast guide to the world of work. I'm Pippa.

And I'm Phil. Find a transcript for this episode on our website,

We heard from Neil and Beth at the start of the programme about using small talk at work. So, what is small talk, Phil?

Um, it's those conversations that you have that are about things, I guess you don't think they're that important, but it's like being friendly. You, when you see someone, maybe you know them, maybe you don't, but you have a chat at the start of the workday or when you meet someone. Or maybe you're waiting for a bus or something and you just make small talk.

Mhm. Yes, and we use quite a lot of small talk at work in the UK, because we usually want to be polite with people that we're working with and you're interacting with lots of different people throughout the day usually. And so that's when small talk can be helpful so that it doesn't feel awkward when you meet someone.

In this episode, we'll talk about some common small talk topics as well as some topics to avoid at work. And we'll also talk about when to use small talk at work.

So Phil, let's start with some small talk topics. What are good things to talk about and how would you introduce them naturally into a conversation?

OK, well, this is the stereotype about people in Britain, is that they always talk about the weather and it's a stereotype, but I think it might be true.

I think it is true. We have a lot of different weather here, and we're kind of obsessed with it, I think. So, a way that you could talk about this is, say that the weather is good, it's sunny outside. You could ask a colleague, 'are you enjoying the good weather?' And maybe the weather's bad. So, a good way to talk about bad weather is to say, 'how are you coping with the heat?' Or the rain or the cold. Um, so how are you coping, um, implies that it's kind of bad and stressful.

We often put little rhetorical questions in there as well. So, sort of like 'cold, isn't it?' Or 'hot, isn't it?'

Mhm. Yeah. And another way that you can talk about the weather if you're talking to someone on the phone or maybe a video call and they're in a different part of the country to you, or maybe even a different country, you can say, 'oh is it raining where you are? It's been horrible here today'.

That sounds like one of our video calls.

Another topic that often comes up in small talk, or an easy one to talk about, is to talk about weekend plans or trips. So, if it's going to be the weekend soon, you can ask someone, 'are you up to anything nice at the weekend?' Or if it's just been the weekend, you could ask, 'what did you get up to at the weekend?' Um, another way to combine weather and weekend is to say, 'did you manage to enjoy the sunshine over the weekend?' if it was nice.

That's a perfect piece of small talk there. And there might be other things that you talk about. People often find, um, if they're interested in sports, they often talk about that with someone. Um, your commute to work, if you work in the same place, that's often a topic of conversation, and particularly if something's gone wrong, which does often happen.

Mmm, yeah. And other things you can talk about are anything that you know about the person. So, if you know that they're interested in a particular sport or a particular activity, you could ask sort of a general question about that. As you get to know people better, you often kind of have more normal conversations with them, and you don't have to have small talk. But even people you know, well, small talk is a thing. So, Phil, you and I work together every day, but we talk about the weather quite a lot anyway because it's just a normal, friendly way to talk when you don't want to get into a big, deep conversation with someone at work.

Yes, it is. Quite grey today, isn't it?

Hmm. Yeah. It's horrible.

OK, that's some great small talk topics, but when should we be using them? We don't want to talk about the weather all day, do we?

No. Uh, so there's a few points in the day where it would be normal to use small talk. So, one example is the start of a meeting. So, particularly on a video call, when you join a video call and you're waiting for everyone to join, there's maybe you and one or two other people. That's a good time to use small talk, because if you sit in silence, it's just a bit odd. It's a bit strange. You would also do this probably in person if you're waiting for someone to come to the meeting.

Yeah. And as well, as well as at the start of meetings, if you're in an office, then at the beginning or the end of the day when you're meeting someone or you're just saying goodbye, yeah, we'll often go into a bit of small talk then.

Yeah. So that's where you might say something like, 'oh, good weekend?' Or 'do you have any plans for the evening?' would be a good one at the end of the day. Another place that we do a lot of small talk is in the kitchen at work. So, if you pop to the kitchen to make a coffee maybe, you're probably going to run into somebody that you know that you don't work with all the time. Um, and that's where you can use your small talk. So, you can ask something like, 'how's your day going?' Or sort of make a comment, say, 'oh, it's been manic today, hasn't it?' That means it's been really busy.

And yes, of course, with, um, small talk, we don't just ask questions. Um, sometimes you're just making observations, particularly when you think the other person is going to agree with you. So, you're kind of, you're trying to create a connection there, in a way.

Right. I think we should talk about what not to talk about. So, are there any topics that we should generally avoid in small talk, Phil?

OK. This is an interesting one because it will vary depending on where you are. But particularly in the UK, we're not that direct with people. And so, we probably wouldn't ask anything too personal about people. If you know something about someone's family, you'll ask about kind of what you know about, but you're probably not going to ask deep, searching questions in small talk.

Mhm, yes. For example, Phil, I know that you've got kids. So, if we're chatting, I might ask you how your kids are or sort of say, 'how was your weekend? Did you do anything nice with the kids?' But I probably wouldn't ask you lots of personal questions about them, and particularly I wouldn't ask those during small talk at work because there'd be lots of other people around, and it's just not what you generally use for small talk. Another thing that we don't generally talk about during small talk is politics or controversial topics. So, we don't tend to discuss our personal political views or opinions during small talk. And the idea with small talk is to keep the conversation flowing, to be polite and friendly. So, you can't really do that if you end up in a bit of a political debate with someone at work.

Yeah, I think this is particularly the case when you don't know what someone else might think. So, if you think there could be a big disagreement, it's probably an area we'd usually avoid in small talk.

Mhm. Yeah. And the final topic that we generally avoid talking about is money.

I think in Britain we're just very awkward about talking about money, aren't we? So, it's not something people feel comfortable about talking in, in, in small talk. Um, it's just not, I don't know, it's just something we don't often talk about much.

Yeah. So, for example, I, you wouldn't generally ask about how much somebody earns or how much they spend on things. So, Phil, if you came in and I asked you about your weekend and you told me you bought a new car, I wouldn't probably ask you how much it cost. Um, because that would be seen as a bit impolite. That's it for this episode of Office English. We'll be back next week to talk about how to organise and lead meetings.

In the meantime, you can find out more about small talk with the short video series on subjects to avoid on our website. And there's a link in the notes for this programme.

Bye for now.

Bye.